It happened so fast…

It happened so fast.

That cliche phrase has been running though my mind all week. It just happened so fast. It really was an accident.

Thomas, the two littlest babies, and I were driving over the mountain on the way to an appointment for me, lunch, shopping for a big project I’m working on (freezer slow cooker meals and lots of them!), and then home before the bigger kids got out of school.

The mountain was gorgeous and Fall was all around. The Quakey Aspens are my favorite this time of year.

I was driving so that Thomas could work some on his laptop.

We came around a turn, I noticed a slower car in front of me so I slowed a bit, we were chatting, all of the sudden I see the car again but I’m going to hit it. They were slowing way down, to pull over, right in the middle of the road. I braked too late and then we smashed into the car. I hit a car. I totaled a car. That car had people in it. My car had people in it.

It happened so fast.

I didn’t scream. I pulled over. Someone else’s car’s glass was all over my windshield. My tiny baby started crying and I got right out, plucked him from his carseat, joined his cries and just rocked him on the side of the road. Everyone is ok. I’m ok, my babies are ok, my Thomas is ok. I hit someone else’s car. I totalled their car. I can only thank God that they are ok too.

It happened so fast.

Time slowed as we figured out how to call the police from the top of the mountain where cell phones don’t work. I sat in the back seat of the suburban nursing the baby while Paul played in the seats. The wind blew, the yellow leaves danced, the sound of glass blowing and slowly sliding across the top of our car and across the hood is still fresh in my mind. I said “I’m sorry” a million times to the world’s most patient husband. I cried. The ‘what if’s’ can eat you alive.

We wait, waiting, waited. A few hours later Father-in-law comes to haul us home. The other car leaves on the back of a tow truck, it’s occupants inside the truck looking to rent another car to finish their vacation. I’m so sorry your vacation took this turn. I’m so glad you are ok. This will be a vacation you talk about for a while I bet. The one a lady and her babies smashed into you.

No appointment that day. No shopping. No lunch. This wasn’t what I planned.

I’m grateful our Suburban can be fixed. That we have insurance for their expenses. That no one had to go to the hospital. That carseats work. That my little babies will never remember this. That my big babies weren’t with us. That husband was so kind when I was upset enough for us both. That appointments and shopping and lunch out can be done another day. I’m so grateful for another day.

It happened so fast.