Thinking… There’s so much hope wrapped around today for me. I have had today, the first day of fall 2016, in my mind for a long long time. I’ve even been planning on it, in one way or another, for at least a year. Things have been hard here. Sure, the recipes look delicious, but building a house, raising 5 little souls, and trying to support my husband has been super challenging. I make little goals in my mind that go along the lines of, “I can do *insert hard thing* until the end of school.” When the end of school hit, I told myself I could do the next hard thing until the 4th of July. I’ve been doing this for a years now (building and opening the hardware store was no joke either, and neither was remodeling our house without a kitchen sink for 9 months). So when I found out I was pregnant with Mr. Squishy, I started thinking about today, the first day of fall in 2016. I knew he’d be just over a year old and that the rush of the school year would be over. I told myself that if I could make it today, then I could make it. I’m here and it feels so good.
Feeling… like I’m ready to take care of myself a little better. That’s what I told myself – the fall of 2016 would be for me, a time to regroup and make sure my own needs are being met. I’m not pregnant, I’m not nursing, and it’s time to get healthy in body and mind. I’m losing my baby weight, I’m reading books, I’m taking time to be with friends that mean so much to me, and I’m toying with the idea of a little trip for Thomas and I this fall or winter. I’m working on being ok with who I am and verbalizing my needs and wants, I’m listening to my heart and my body, and I’m trying to listen a little less to what other people say I should be doing/wanting/thinking/feeling. I’m not sure what all that means, but I’m trying to be happy and healthy.